My Mum: Well, granddad was very, you know, what Granny said went. I remember they used to argue about who carried her handbag, and usually granddad won and he carried it.
Me: Granddad lost in that case.
My Mum: No no, he wanted to carry it.
Me: He wanted to carry it?
My Mum: Yes he wanted to carry her handbag.
THE ODD COUPLE
This is from an annual on ‘the unexplained’ that I used to have when I was, I dunno, twelve? ‘Her breasts were set very low’. This was the eighties though; I guess aliens have worked out how to fit legs onto hips by now.
Incidentally, I’ve tried that ‘how are you made?’ chat up line myself. Forget it. It doesn’t work at all.
FAMILY PORTRAIT
Not mine. Someone posted this on Reddit. I think it’s my favourite photograph of all time, because each face perfectly represents my four basic feelings about the world.
