You are writing back to a girl you fancy. You sit composing an email for two hours, editing, thinking ‘how will she read this’, ‘am I really being true here?’ ‘does this sound natural? normal?’ Then more editing; ‘what will make me freak and cringe when I read this a day after sending?’ and so on. Eventually, in a blind pother of reckless sod-it – as if gravity is to blame – you hit ‘send’. Two hours later you review the email, realising, with an awful age-old sickness, what you have done; what your various ‘innocent’ jokes really mean, and how desperate you look and how fake. ‘How could you send that?’ you think, ‘she’s gonna see you’re a phoney now! …but then someone needs to – you loser’. You sit and re-read, sadly.
This is an excerpt from Belly Up!