This month’s stars: Capricorn

You get home late from a long and arduous day at work – you manage a team of programmers at the colossal financial data company Bloomburg – and immediately feel guilty for not having had sex with your wife for over a week, or is it two now? A sense of duty compels you to start making advances, but when the moment of truth comes, your penis is dead, empty, like a flap of pointless skin. It feels like it could be a a mile away, or on someone else’s body. Your wife says ‘it doesn’t matter darling, you’re tired’, but both of you know that’s not true. In fact you are horribly, staringly, awake. Something is dreadfully wrong and you lay, lidlessly sleepless, feeling a mixture of sickness and sadness. Something is so wrong.

This is an excerpt from Belly Up!