It’s the start of exsuperation week! Linen underwear, board-games, sing-alongs, no computers, no meat or sugar, no electric blanket, no sweety-wheaties, etc… Not all of these things, do what you can do. Remember that Exsuperating is not a puritan rejection of civilisation — in some ways quite the reverse, as you return to your central heating and imported bananas with real gratitude. No, we exsuperate to sharpen our wills, overcome ourselves and practice independence from the inherently addictive Iron Cage.  

Here are some ideas for exsuperation week 2017;

 

Fasting

The fasting experience — no food, just water — for those that have not tried it, is as follows: On day one (after a pre-fast day of light eating) you wake up hungry, and the hunger grows. You think about food. The day, with no vegetables to chop, potatoes to mash or dishes to wash, seems long. You think about giving up. As the day draws to a close your body gets the message; it’s not going to get fed, and so it stops demanding food.

That night you sleep badly. You wake up feeling ghastly (as the toxins in your body are washed into the blood?). It’s like a particularly bad hangover and it lasts all day. You start to smell musty and rancid, your tongue cleaves to the roof of your mouth. It’s not pretty. You are no longer hungry for food, but for good health. By the end of day two you realise the worst is over and you crawl head-pounding towards bed — if indeed you left it.

On day three you wake up feeling better than you can ever remember feeling. Your eyes snap open, without the slightest cling of drear. You feel zesty, electric, radiating yawp, yet gentle and tender. Later that day you are ready to eat again, slowly and with reverence. The first sip you take of the soup you have prepared fills your body instantly with warmth.

Day four you leap out of bed and kick the ceiling.

This process applies to everything new worth doing.

 

Cold Showers

Fabulous things. Have you ever had one, properly? Apparently they’re good for developing brown fat (the type that retains heat), for lustering up your skin, lowering your blood pressure and girding your loins. They definitely make you feel more alive, awake and ready to sink your teeth into the ASS OF LIFE. And they’re also good, I believe, if you have tendency to conspicuously moan, but for this you have to take them without making a sound.

Here’s how you do it. Take a normal hot shower, get all your pores open, rinse thoroughly with the hot water then hold the shower head over the BACK OF YOUR NECK and stand there for a few seconds thinking ‘fuck I really don’t want to do this,’ before quickly turning the hot all the way down and the cold all the way up — the colder the better; freezing is fine — and hold it there, hold it with your teeth clenched in silent RAGE at the cold water tears through you like so many sharpened sticks. Then slowly move the shower head up over your head, roaring inside, and slowly over your face and slowly over your whole body. Keep going (about 3 mins is enough) until you find your body is sort of weirdly numb and sort of weirdly okay with the discomfort. Then you can finish.

What you will find is that a) when you step out, you will feel like a HUMAN BEING, b) you will feel marvellously charged and warm and, c) about twenty minutes later, quite joyous d) I also believe this is good training for asking girls out and for DEATH.

Do this once a week at least.

 

General Will Enhancement

Will is a skill. You may be born with at a certain level, flavour or emphasis of will, just you are with language, but will is a fundamental human endowment, which grows. If you are born into a family in which self-mastery is demonstrably practised, rewarded, admired, etc, then by the time you’re seven (indeed twenty-seven) you’re better at directing your will; but if not that no more means you can never learn self-discipline than that you can never learn Chinese. But it takes practice — lots and lots of it. Start practising, during exsuperation week, improving your posture, modulating your tone, participatory listening, not filling every empty second with chick-checking the internet, letting go of your thoughts and sinking into the present, breathing body… and keep going.

For Fannying About Week we’ll look at the complimentary art of doing majestic-species of bugger all.