Everyone Arrested!

breaking übernews Everyone in the UK was arrested yesterday in a police raid said to be the biggest the world has ever seen. ‘Logistically it was a bit of a nightmare,’ said dci Earnest House, ‘but we’re pretty confident we’ve cleared the streets of all criminal elements.’

The move came after the controversial ‘Communication Economy Bill’ was passed which criminalised all ‘Non-Conventional Thoughts’. The UK police, given power to monitor all thoughts through last year’s ‘Mind-Probe Charter’, were alarmed to discover that everyone in the country was guilty under the new law of being radically unconventional.

‘In most cases suspects were unaware just how unconventional they are,’ said House, ‘but ignorance is no excuse under law—we’ve had to snap the lot of ‘em’.

Turning the entire country into a vast prison in which inmates are both prisoners and warders because they don’t even realise they’re in a prison, has, however, turned out to be easier than initially feared.

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